note for future reference by non-native English speakers: "Taking offense" = "being offended by something said or done". The phrase you're looking for is "going on the offensive".
No problem. Although, would you mind leaving the notes as-is now? We're going for accuracy in meaning, here, so unless you have good reason to believe your translation is a more accurate one, please don't overwrite or revert them.
Considering the artist, I think the other person would be Kanako.
...who would believe that "I'm a virgin" line?"Was it good for you?"Violently going on the offensivefutanariName: AkuFor image responseHornyWhew...
I really came.Irritated because her partner used her teethClose to shooting off, but holding it in.man versionSlightly naughty expressions practicegradeGetting sucked offExhaustedGently going on the offensiveHow 'bout here?
You like it here?Kiss (eyes closed)A little cocky from watching her partner's reactionCan't hold it in anymore.Impression of seeing XX for the first timeWith a body like that...You're heavy-!So tense her mind blankedShot offclassDoing it at once