Oh come on this is just parody =_= It's reminds me "how to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you"
Pushes lane haphazardlyWhen you recall to resupply, your support starts to push lanes with her abilities, but the minions ends up getting killed by the turret insteadNow, does your support intend to ditch you?Your support kindly hides in the bush, counting every single minion you missed and every single poke you receivedPuts a shield on youIf you and your support had eye contact, do not miss minions, missing minions is a sign for the support to decide you are weak, she will then last hit any minions she thinks you cannot last hitPut wardsPlacing wards at the river and at every single ambush site, she's not protecting you, she's laughing at your map awareness insteadGives you low health enemiesIn reality she's training to carry herselfHow to know if your SUPPORT decides to ditch youFlashes to a low health enemy ADC when you dieThat is not giving you kills, that's a failed...Watches you from the bushAFK at the shopHave eye contactSupports aren't good at killing enemies, but that doesn't stop them from tryingAD carries have huge income, your support knows this, so she'll wait at her base until she can buy her Gold per 5 seconds items, to catch up to your gold.
Addtionally letting you 1v2, without a single ward when she returns
I just bought my items, so I can't buy wards yo!When your support does this, it definitely means she wants you to die along with herYou'd think this is a heartwarming move,
in reality she's hoping you can block damage for herSupport suddenly runs towards your direction when they got caught warding