"I probably shoulda set up with a party beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy exploding a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up parties. You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?" Answer: YES."
"BY REGISTERING IN THE ADVENTURER GUILD, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH FRENCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T."
"IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE SHE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU!?"