First translation I've done. Not a very hard one, but I'm only just starting to learn moonspeak Japanese. Confirmation would be appreciated.
Assuming Kanami is a character's name (I'm not very familiar with Rance or Splatoon characters), then yes, you're fine. You may want to play around with translating the sound effect and exclamation, and/or formatting the translation to match the look of the original text, but this is technically good to go.